Why I love my husband-to-be . . .

There are about a zillion reasons, everything from the way he is so patient with my insane moods, my crazy way of doing things/going through life and my general nuttiness, to the way he puts the cap back on the toothpaste because he knows I like it that way. But on our trip one thing he said really stood out from the array of other things he does. It was warm out one day, but not particularly hot. A temperature that I would usually be quite comfortable with, but one that most people might comment on. Anyway, he said to me, quite nonchalantly, "Are you hot?" and I said something to the effect of, "Yeah, normally I love this temperature but for some reason I'm really warm." Feeling like that was a sort of odd question, I inquired, "Why do you ask?" He responded back, just as it were any old comment, "Because the hair on the back of your neck is curling and it usually does that when you get hot." For whatever reason, that really struck me. How in the hell does he notice me enough to know that the hair on the back of my neck curls when I'm hot!??! I don't even know that! You know that someone must really care about you to notice those little everyday things that no one else would ever take the time to learn or notice.

This trip also gave me a lot of time to think and really regroup - not only on Cody and our relationship (which I realized was even more special then I ever realized) but on live in general. Even with as hectic as things were and how much we were running around, being away from the US and the day to day grind really gave me a time to reflect. But since we're on the boy subject, I'll just note a quick thing on this topic and comment on the others as they strike me.

It's no secret that I'm not getting married at 21, or even 25 for that matter. Cody's not the first guy I ever dated. We've both lived lives, sometimes together and others separate, and had an opportunity to really see the world, sort to speak, in terms of what's out there in relationships. While on one hand, it would have been a great story to tell had we stayed together after high school and then college and then gotten married and had 3 kids by now, that's not what life had in store for us. On the other hand, we both got to really grow up and figure out who we really were as people individually and what we wanted from a relationship. This time around we really understood what it takes to make these things work, what works and what doesn't and most important, what we want and need to be happy in a relationship.

For me, that was not so easy to figure out. I had the sort of stupid Jerry McGuire attitude of wanting to find someone to "complete me." But in order for someone else to complete you, you have to be incomplete yourself. Only after being alone, being in good and bad relationships, did I realize that you have to be complete before you add another person. You can't (or at least I can't) need someone else to make you whole. And on that note, that's why I love Cody. He doesn't so much "complete me" as he does "complement me." He really lets me be me. And that's not an easy task. He doesn't expect to change me or want me to be someone else. The first time we dated I tried really hard to be what I thought he wanted and that just didn't work (obviously). This time around I'm me and it works for us. He lets me watch stupid cartoon movies (even if he hates them and thinks they're retarded, he accepts that's me). He understands when I get cranky and yell that it's not him but usually something else that's bothering me. He lets me dress like a stupid hippy and braid my hair into 156 braids and just understands that's me. He understands that sometimes I want him to come to Wal-Mart with me, not because I need help shopping or can't do it myself, but because I just want to spend time with him. I could go on and on and on here for pages and bore the death out of anyone who's even made it this far. But in the end, what I found (at least for me) is one of the most important things is finding someone who lets me be me, good and bad and the ugly. Thanks Cody for complimenting me.