I'm officially obsessed.

No, not with the website this time, though I have worked a bit more today on getting the glitches fixed and the pages running right again. Nope, this time I'm officially obsessed with this wedding. I swore up and down I would not become obsessed with this wedding. I wasn't going to be like that. I just didn't care about details. All I wanted was family, friends and an open bar. I guess I lied. I'm obsessed!
Favors. Guest List. Attendants. Flowers. Photographers. DJs. Wedding band/music. Catering. Colours. And don't even get me started on DRESSES! It's insane. I don't know how people ever make it through long engagements! I can't decide what clothes to wear to work today or what to eat for lunch, much less what I will eat on my ONE wedding day. Or what music will play on my ONE wedding day. Or what flowers. Or anything else. Decisions, decisions, decisions. But at least I'm getting into it now. I sort of had the "whatever" attidude for a while, but now that I've been killing myself with dress shopping, I'm sort of getting into it. Speaking of dresses, thanks for everyone who has provided opinions and thoughts! Especially my mommy who sat on the internet for hours with me pouring over picture after picture of gowns online. The one thing I do regret about this wedding is not being able to share it more personally with our families in Florida - there's just so much you can do over the phone, fax and email. But they are all wonderful nonetheless.
Anyway, one thing wedding planning has done for me is provide me an opportunity to be introspective on where I've been, where I'm at now and where I'm heading. I'm glad we've got a semi-long engagement, because it's really given me a chance to take stock of everything and really "prepare" to move onto the next step of my life. I never though marriage would affect me so profoundly, as I've never been that kind of person. But I've really had an opportunity to figure out more of who I am and what I want to be. I try not to think of marriage as losing anything, most importantly yourself, but in a way you do move on and put a lot of your past behind you. I guess for girls it can be even more profound because we give up our names (huge, unfair presumption here, but since I plan to, I'm speaking from my thoughts), something that really is a core of who we are. My entire life I've been "Melissa Flynn." My license says it. My degrees say it. My buisness cards, email and name plates all say it. But on April 8th I'll be Melissa Raffensperger. First, it won't even fit on half of those above mentioned items. Second, I'm not used to the way it sounds. I'm not sure how long it will take for me to respond to it. When I have kids they won't ever know I had a totally different name before I married their dad. They won't know a thing about who I was before I was their mom. I wonder if old friends will still be able to find me and track me down. Will my current friends even take the time to learn how to spell it? Will my family, for that matter? :)
Okay, enough of that. I feel my thoughts are going more random then any particular direction and when they do that I need to regroup and get things together in my head before I ramble myself to death.
Thanks mommy for your help. One of these days we'll find the right dress - now go ask your boss for time off work to visit The Lou!

I'm still a dork.

So, I have this list of about a zillion "to do" things. Everything from paint the dining room, to put my registration sticker on my car, to plan this darn wedding. One of those things is to do a wedding website and make our normal website look better. Well, I put Bo in charge of the wedding website and I've been working on revamping the regular site. It's not all done yet, but check it out and see all the new changes: www.cody-missy.com. I think I'm happier with the changes, but after working on it for so long, I can't decide if I still like the layout or not. Oh, by the way, if anyone knows how to make links not have that annoying underline in HTML, without making them into pictures, please let me know.
As for other news, another busy weekend as usual - pretty much nothing marked off the good ole' "to do" list. Friday, Cody played golf and I went shopping/eating in the Loop with Marissa. Then we all met up and headed out to West County for Mason's going-away gathering. A good time but stayed out too late for having to wake up early Saturday for another day of wedding dress shopping. Cashel came with Marissa and I this time for added perspective and advise. They were super wonderful and so patient with me with this whole affair. It's really getting on my nerves that I can't find a dress I like. I can't decide if I'm being overly picky or if they really don't have any dresses that I think are perfect. I have an idea in my head of what I want but can't seem to find it in a store. I guess I'll just keep on looking. Saturday, while I tortured my friends with dress shopping, Cody played in a golf tournament (which I keep calling a golf festival for some reason) that got rained out by more St. Louis storms. He went to some party afterwards, I went running instead. (BTW, I'm adding a "running" section on the website to keep up with my marathon training - maybe it will make me stick with it - I can at least chart my progress.) Today we all went out to West County for Cody and Marissa's soccer game. I ran while they played. It was the worst run ever - it was over 100 degrees and I really thought I might pass out. I seriously think I still don't feel right. Oh well. Then it was errands and cleaning hte house for the rest of the evening. We were going to watch a movie but we're both so exhausted we would never make it through. So, a few more chores and off to bed.

I'm such a dork.

I'm trying to lay out a wedding website I like. What do you think of this one?
http://codyandmissy.weddingwindow.com/index.cfm?fa=welcome

We're back. . .

Well, we made it back from Tallahassee safe and sound. We had a great time with everyone, though, as always, we regret not having more time, or "enough" time - though I don't know how much time it would take to be "enough" because whatever we have is never enough. Saturday, I got to hang out with my mom, run some errands, do mommy-daughter stuff, and work on the wedding planning. Not so much the planning per se, but the organization of my piles of crap and a discussion and brainstorming session. Saturday evening we hung out with Cody's family to celebrate his sister's 30th birthday. It really seems like just yesterday I remember celebrating her 21st birthday with his family. Boy does time fly. Anyway, we had a great time hang out, catching up, playing with the kids, discussing the wedding and watching old family videos. It was errie how Baylee is so much like Sara was in the videos. I can only hope and pray my kids won't be like me - I was a terror - or so I've been told numerous times. :) Anyway, Sunday we saw both families again, packed up the kitties in the kitty carrier (actually we borrowed a friend's doggie carrier), and stopped by to see some more family. We got to see Dianne (my stepmom), my step-grandparents (who are just like any real set of grandparents to me - there is absolutely nothing "step" about them - they are truly truly wonderful people - I really couldn't ask for anything more from a step-family then I already have), David and Kim, and Athena and Aurora. I know I'm probably prejudice but those girls really are gorgeous - I keep telling David he's going to have to beat the boys with sticks to keep them away. :) It was great to see them, even if for such a short time. Then it was off for another 13 hour drive home - but we made it.

As for wedding news, we sort of got the weekend of events roughly planned out. I'm going to try to post a ton more on the website coming soon, but tonight I'm just too tired. :) Thanks the to absolute genius of Cody's mom (who is the GREATEST wedding planner ever - whether she wants to or not, she's sort of been nominated - she's been AMAZING), we figured out our rehersal dinner deliema. We're doing the rehersal at the gardens but then for the dinner, since we wanted to invite all of the out-of-town guests (and in-town since we never see anyone), we're going to have a pool party at the hotel! We're getting my favorite restraunt (Sonny's) to cater it - should be a total blast! I love it - totally low-key and very "us"! We also finished asking all the bridesmaids this weekend but Cody's still working on his groomsmen. We also asked our three amazing nieces to be flower girls, David to play a song on guitar and Kim to read a passage at the wedding (actually I meant to ask her but haven't yet - plan to email her tonight - so I hope she doesn't read this before I ask her). :) I'm really getting excited!! Now I just have to find a dress and photographer ASAP! Well, no sleep last night so off to bed early tonight. . ..

I type about as much as I talk.

I just realized I type obnoxiously long blogs. People who know me know how much I talk. Now I think I type as much as I talk - but not as fast (though I'm still a pretty fast typer - I talk crazy fast). Anyone who made it through that last one deserves a cookie - and probably needs a beer by the time they're done. :)

What a whirlwind week!

What a crazy week. Monday and Tuesday weren't too bad - normal stuff - work, come home and go work out, clean the house. Cody's been working late lately because they're trying to finish up a big project so nothing too exciting those days. Wednesday everything was blown around, quite literaly.

First, I had an appointment with the otologist my ENT (ear, nose and throat) refered me to in an attempt to fix my ears. They did an audio test thing and my right ear was pretty good but my left ear has lost quite a bit of hearing since this bird flu thing. I basically can't hear much of anything of out it - the doctor described it as "substantial hearing loss." So he poked around in my ear, did some more tests and suggested one, possibly two surgeries. SURGERIES!?!? I just wanted some stupid eardrops to make it all better. I certainly didn't sign up for surgery, much less the possibility of two! Anyway, he wants to do the first one as soon as possible - it will basically fix the large hole in my eardrum (which while it has been there for at least 10 years, got much larger as a result of said bird flu and is causing said hearing loss - at least presumably) and then do another mastoidectomy (I had this surgery already when I was 9 years old). Then, assuming some of the loss is also due to otosclerosis (every female on my mother's side of the family has had it going back at least to my great-grandma), he wants to do a stapendectomy second (they can't do it at the same time because there can't be a hole in your eardrum when they do the second one). Fun fun. I'm not a huge fan of doctors to begin with, much less when they want to cut my head open. So, needless to say, this pretty much freaked me out Wednesday. In addition to the whole cutting at my head thing, these things are not cheap. I have health insurance, it's just not great (only covers 80% after my deductible), while Cody has rock star insurance. So now the deliema - wait until the wedding so I can get on his insurance (and live without hearing in one ear until and through the wedding), pay for the 20% (can't imagine that will be cheap), or go to the courthouse, get married and still have the reception next year. Too much to think about. . .

So, in the midst of all that stress, Marissa was nice enough to take me out wedding dress shopping Wednesday. The first shop (in a mirror of Saturday's excursion) was total crap and didn't have anything remotely wonderful. Most looked like nightgowns. Then we found another shop so I could try on two of the dresses I liked from Saturday. Well, I knocked out on of the gowns from Saturday but found two more. First, I love Watters gowns (www.watters.com). I'm not a big name brand person or anything, but seriously, every dress I tried of theirs was gorgeous. I'll put up pictures later with links to the website (I'm assuming Cody won't look because he's more supersticious then I am and it's unlikely he even made it this far in the blog). :) So on our way back into town from the burbs it started storming. Not just a summer shower, but I seriously felt like we were in a hurricane. To cut to the chase, this was the storm that's been all over the news. By the time I got home, we'd lost power. We still do not have power. It's been over two days now and they don't have an estimate as to when it will be back on - hopefully by Monday.

So, we arrive home to find no electricity on the hotest day of the year thus far (turns out Thursday would be an even hotter day). Cody and I hang out in the house, all windows open and candles burning and try everything we can think of to get the house cooler. It was no use. We finally managed to sleep a little Wednesday night in the heat, but we knew that wouldn't last. Since we were already planning a trip to Tally (still needed to pick up the fur balls), we just moved it up a bit. We went to work Thursday, came home, packed and got on the road. It wasn't even worth trying to take a nap in the house before we left - it was a sauna. We emptied the fridge and took anything still good in the fridge and freezer to a friend's house for storage and drove through the night.

So we made it to Tally today and have been checking the electric company website to see if our power is back on yet or if they at least have an estimate - no luck yet. I feel really bad for the fish because they're probably boiling by now, but hopefully they'll all make it since they're tropical fish. While it's great to be in Tally and not have to worry about the heat and no power, I hate to leave the house in such a state. Plus there was another storm today and we haven't had anyone drive by yet to make sure my car is okay and there is no damage to the house. I guess this is what we get for living in the midwest. Hopefully all will be fine by Sunday when we get home.

In other news, while in Tally today, I finally renewed my car registration (it was due in March). Yes I still register my car in Florida - so I don't have to pay the yearly personal property tax in Missouri on my car. Then I got a new cell phone because I pretty much destroyed mine - the hinge broke on this phone for the second time - I'm just not lucky with cell phones (I'm also not the gentlest with them either). It was also my mom's birthday today so we had a nice little party at my aunt's house - a good ole' seafood fest with crab claws and shrimp - oh, and of course cake. :) I think this is the first time I've been in Tally for my mom's birthday since I was probably 17 years old - I always ended up being out of town. Not this year.

Well, I'm beat from the 13 hour drive - time to sleep. Hope everyone in St. Louis is okay and is getting power back!!

Glitch fixed.

Just in case you all were wondering, the pictures that weren't working on the Germany pictures page of the website are now working again. Stupid FTP program.

Quick Update

Wow, it's been a while since I posted last. Usually that means either nothing has been going on or so much has been going on that I haven't had time to post. This time I guess I have no real excuse as I've been somewhere in the middle.
Last week was moderately uneventful. I went to an amazing ear specialist on Monday who actually had a clue what was going on with my ears. He gave me some meds for the acute problem (gross drainage stuff) and refered me to a specialist for the ongoing problems (large hole in eardrum for quite some time and hearing losS). So that was quite successful after several horrible experiences with my primary doctor who didn't even see the damn hole in my ear.
Wednesday we had a Partners v. Associates softball game at work. It all started because the associates have a softball team but haven't ever won a legit game (they have two wins via forfeits because the other team did not have enough players) so the partners "challenged" them. Turns out that was a bad idea since the associates won 19-7. At least they finally won a game. I was the creative coordinator for the game and came with signs reading "Partners put the SLOW in slowpitch" and "We'll show you who's boss."
Thursday I got my hair cut much shorter then it's been in a while. I was not kind to my hair while in Germany and it needed a cut anyway.
Friday we went to "Live on the Levee" at the Arch and saw Better then Ezra and Sister Hazel. The latter was pretty good, the former was an arogant Screach-looking fellow who's best songs were covers. The fireworks were amazing. I think everyone who is ever stress, depressed or otherwise unhappy, should be forced to watch fireworks as therapy, as they are incredibly soothing and make you really realize how small we all are.
Saturday, Marissa and I went wedding dress shopping. She was such a trooper and SO patient with my indecisive self. She was amazing at conveying to the sales people what I liked and didn't much better then I could. I think we found two possiblities. I'll put links for them up tomorrow. They wouldn't let us take pictures (thought the gowns are online) so I've got to go back on a non-busy day this week to take pictures and get everyone's opinion (not Cody's though). Saturday evening we went to Sabrina's husband's 30th birthday party. I think between Cody and our work friends they floated the keg by 10pm. :) A good time was had by all.
Today Cody had soccer, but it was so damn hot I didn't even bother to run. I was feeling very hot and lazy. :) We ran errands, did a super cleaning of the turtle tank and then hung around the house.
Now off to bed. . .

More Germany Updates

Okay, two weeks after we got back from our trip, all the pictures are finally posted. I finished narrating the trip as well as posting all the pictures Dude took. His camera has a crazy good zoom so he has some great pictures of the games and other stuff where I couldn't take pictures (inside the Louvre, etc.). If you are just insanely bored or have an amazing amount of time on your hands, check them out. :)
As for other news, I'm still sick, though have resorted to being sick of being sick so I'm at least back to running a little bit. I'm debating whether I have enough time to train for the Chicago marathon after 6 weeks of no running while recovering from stress fractures in my shins and then two weeks of no running because I was sick. I ran two miles on Friday and felt okay, but was just exhausted later. Today while Cody was playing soccer I ran a while, but still didn't feel great afterwards. Hopefully by the end of the week I can make a decision.

Tired of being sick!!! Oh, and I hate my car.

Okay, this is getting really really old. I am so sick of being sick! My ear is still in crazy pain and my head just will not get uncongested! I finally went to the doctor and was told, gasp, that I have a hole in my eardrum. Thanks genius! I already knew that- goes to figure why there is stuff ozzing out of it! Enough gross sick stuff. On to other news. . .
So, for the second time since returning from Germany, I had to travel for work. Not to complain because I really enjoy my travel time - I love mileage checks and it's nice to get out of the office for a day. But for the second time since returning to Germany, my car gave out on my trip. Last week it was my car battery simply dying when I went to turn on the car. Today, I was on my way to Columbia, crossed the bridge over the Missouri River, and my right front tire blew out! At that point, I thought I must have done something pretty bad in a past life to deserve this karma. Anyway, I changed the tire, Cody game and met me, and we switched out cars so I could take his to Columbia. He, being the great guy he is, took my car to the store and got a new tire put on.
So, as I close out day 658 of my illness, all is still good in the world, as at least tomorrow is Friday. :)

Happy 4th of July . . . . hope you don't have bird flu

I hope everyone had a fun and enjoyable 4th of July. Typically this is one of my favorite holidays, not because I'm overly patriotic (with today's government, quite the opposite), but because it's about the pure joy of family, friends and fun. There is really no stress involved (New Year's is another fave but it's in the winter, which I hate, so that bumps it down on the list), just barbeque, beer, fireworks and good fun. Until this year. Until bird flu (again, I really do not have bird flu, but it certainly feels like it). I haven't written in a few days, basically because they've been the worst few days in recent memory and I've done nothing worth writing about. And I mean nothing. I was so excited for the weekend to get some things done and hang out with Cody, until I came home from work Friday feeling like a truck hit me. But while him and Dude played hours of drunk chess, I gathered my energy and worked on painting the dining room ceiling. I was doing okay for a while until I really started to fade fast. So I slept. Saturday I was awful. Awful. Awful. I woke Cody up, we went to Wal-Mart, stocked up on tissues, juice and cold medicine and I stayed in bed ALL DAY. Sunday was no better. I just sat in bed and worked on my scrapbooks (in the good news category, I at least got some work done on the ole' scrapbooks). Monday I went to work, felt absolutley horrible, so for the first time since starting this job 1.5 years ago, I left work early because I was sick. I came home and crashed. Last night when Cody called (he was working late) I was almost in tears with the pain and pressure in my head and ear. He came home, did everything he could to help, but sure enough I was awakened at 4am with my ear draining nasty stuff. My worst pain fear had arrived - my stupid ear gave out on me and the pressure ruptured my eardrum and was draining fluid out of my ear. Gross. Super gross and super pain. So I waited until 8 am to call the on-call doctor, only to have her call me in an antibiotic. Oh well.
Okay, enough about being sick. Bird flu sucks and I am the biggest baby when I get really sick. I am pretty good with normal colds and flus and I'm usually pretty tough, but once I cross a certain treshold I just melt and become 4 years old again. Anyway, with other news, Germany lost to Italy today. A tragic defeat. 119 minutes of scoreless soccer. Only one minute to go until the game is decided in penalty kicks. And Italy scores. And then with less then one minute to go, they score again. Heartbreaking. I can't even imagine that country tonight. Absolute sorrow.
Went and saw the fireworks tonight downtown. It was sort of raining/sprinkling so we watched them from our parking garage - too bad there was another building right in the way. Still got to see a good bit of them so it was still cool. No BBQ and beer though - doesn't go too well with bird flu.
I really really really hope this thing is over soon.