Apathetic.

That pretty much explains this year so far. I'm just apathetic about just about everything. I've really been trying to work out consistently even though my knee is still bum (I used to work out five days a week for at least an hour but then with my knee bummed I'm lucky to get in five days of 45 minutes on the bike) but with the knee STILL being a pain, I've been pretty apathetic about that - though Cody has been a really great motivator here. Even though I can only increase my running mere minutes at a time, I'm up from 20 minutes of walking with two 1-minute segments to 35 minutes walking with three 3-minute segements - wow - a whole 9 minutes of running. I should be impressed, but I'm not. I was back at the doctor yesterday and the concensus is "we don't know what the #$#$% is going on."
I'm pretty apathetic about work. I go. I work. I bill hours. I leave and go home. Nothing much more interesting then that. Nothing really motivating there except trying not to get fired (you never know any more around there).
I'm apathetic about the weather. It's cold. Then it gets colder. Then it warms up to 50 and I think it's a heat wave. But then it's cold again. I'm over being sick of the cold. I'm just apathetic towards it now. At least I get to use all those warm, fluffy jackets I spent all that money on.
I'm apathetic about decisions. We just have so darn many of them to make in life and I'm just done debating them and thinking about them all the time. Do we stay in STL forever and ever? If not, when do we leave? Where do we go? You would think these would be fun and exciting decisions -but then you wouldn't be having to make them. I think they're fun decisions for other people to be debating and I love to hear what/where/when they're debating - but it's not fun when it's us making the choices. The answer is "I just don't know." I don't even know how it is we will come about to make this decision - if and when it ever even gets made.
I'm apathetic about the whole kid question. At first I liked to think about it and try to "figure it out" and get an idea of what our "plan" was. But then after banging our heads against the perverbial wall, we are still no closer to making any decisions that in any way resemble a move towards a decision in that regard. Honestly, we would both be perfectly fine without kids for the rest of our lives - while I know that shocks the conscious of many folks, we've talked about it and if we never have kids, then that's okay. But assuming we will one day want to walk that path, we have no idea how to "plan" for it since we really don't have that "itch" yet to even think about changing our lives in that way. I feel like we're obviously getting old and while I see no need to have kids now, the time is winding by quicker and quicker, and we need to at least have a goal or a loose plan - but we don't. And I don't know if and when we ever will. My goal used to be by 30, now I think it's 35. If you can even call that a goal.
In other, not so apathetic news, life is actually really really good. We're having a good time. We enjoy our quiet time and our party/loud time. We enjoy our together time and our increasing alone time (with Cody back in school). We enjoy our busy time and our near extinct down time (but we make our lives that way because we like it that way in some sick sense). I think that's why I'm so apathetic about so many extranious things - work, the cold, decisions, kids, etc. - because things are just fine the way they are right now.