Why I Think God Hates Me

Aside from the obvious - curly hair, living where it snows, ridiculous allergies (including to cats, of which I have 3), an inability to decide what I want to do when I "grow up," etc. - I have new reasons to belive God hates me - today is one of those reasons.
I had great plans today. Of course, with me, as always, the greatest plans never turn out - never. For instance when I was younger I thought I would be engaged at 23, married at 25 and have kids by 28, later I thought I would be living in LA or NY, I thought we'd only live in STL for 2-5 years, etc.- obviously my life has not gone according to "plan" but it turned out good nonetheless. Cody and I joke that we're not planning to have kids until he's done with school but that as soon as we make that our official "plan" then sure enough the next week I'd turn up pregnant - not cool.
Anyway, today I had plans. Wake up at 6:30, get Cody to work by 7:30 (we only have one car since mine wasn't starting yesterday), me to work by 8:00, in court by 8:30 for a settlement, leave work by 9:00, make it to Columbia around 11:00, leave work Columbia around 2:00, go to the chiropractor around 3:45-4:00, get Cody's oil changed, get home and clean clean clean before my Bonus Parents get here this weekend, then pick up Cody from work and while he's working on his final (due tomorrow), I'd do some more cleaning and working on crocheting him golf club covers (yes, I'm a total dork and my husband is cheap - so rather then buy $45 Gator golf club covers from UF, he asked me to knit/chrochet him some - so they are orange and blue stripes, look hideous (there are no patterns out there for crocheting golf club covers), but I suppose the clubs won't get banged up). Naturally, not one of those things happened the way I "planned."
Here's how today really turned out: Wake up at 8:00, yell "Holy Shit get up NOW" to Cody. Rush to get ready. Take him to work with me by 8:30, pick up my files, run to court by 8:40 to have the settlement approved, rush out of downtown, get him to work and get to Columbia on time. While this was hectic and we slept in, I still got the settlement approved and made it to Columbia - not so bad. Then I managed to leave on time, get to the chiropractor where he mashed the hell out of my poor knee for 30 minutes, all in the name of "medicine." Then on to take Cody's car to get the oil changed. See, he didn't even know I was going to do this - it was going to be a surprise from his super nice wife because I know he's been complaining that he needs to get it done but he's been so busy. So the first place I go was packed and wasn't taking more customers. So then I drive to Wal-Mart (this is my downfall here - as I have sworn never to return to Wal-Mart - especially the Maplewood one). I park the car in the oil change line and go sign up for an oil change. I go back to move the car and nothing - the thing won't start. So we think it might be the battery so we try to jump it - still no go. Then the car starts smoking - never a good sign. So I call Cody, freaking out, and he informs me that the starter has been going bad for a while and that must be it. WHAT!?!?!? Now we have ZERO working cars and I'm stuck at Wal-Mart and he's stuck at work! This is why it (sometimes) sucks to not live near family - if only this had happened in three day we could have called Cody's folks and had them come pick us up - but no - we gotta figure this crap out. Thankfully we live in a city with mass transit. So I walk from Wal-Mart to the Metro station about a mile (after my chiropractor said to go home, ice and elevate the knee and stay off it for 24 hours), ride the metro to the stop close to home and then walk home. THANKFULLY after crazy manipulation with my fuse box, I got my car started after about 10 tries (obviously this means my starter will be bad next) and then picked Cody up. Of course as soon as I pick him up, my insanely compassionate and caring husband, immediatly tries to find a way to blame the starter dying on ME (apparently he was convinced I tried to start it too many times - it was already DYING when I got the car - it's just my dumb luck I was driving when it happened!). Anyway, we went to Wal-Mart and putzed with the car long enough that we finally removed the starter. Then we took it to Autozone to get a new one - all this time every time we go to start my car it takes more tries to crank. So we went from 2 cars, to 1.5 cars (when mine was 50/50) to 1 1/3 cars (when mine barely worked) to 1/3 car (with his broken and mine barely working). Thankfully we got the new starter and eventually got it in - in the dark - in the Wal-Mart parking lot. It sucked a lot worse then it sounds on paper. I was not a happy camper. Needless to say, we came home totally greasy, hungry and having not gotten anything on the to-do list done - including his final. It's a good thing we are used to little sleep. :)
So, yeah, for today at least, I'm convinced God hates me.