Isolated.

There are a lot of feelings I have in life that I find it hard to pin a word on. Today is one of those, those "isolated" does a pretty good job. As I've said ad infinitum (great law school vocabulary for you there), Cody and I really like our lives in St. Louis - it's not that St. Louis is the greatest city in the entire world, we know that is not the case, it leaves much to be desired (clean air for one) - it's just that we have a really good life here - we've made this our "home." We've exercised our independence, developed ourselves and our relationship just the two of us and made a "home." Well, today that "home" feels isolated.
As I posted earlier in the week, my car was broken into over the weekend- they took about 150 CDs - my collection - my collection of almost 20 years. I felt awful but we move on and there's only so long you can dwell on it. Our solution was to subscribe to an MP3 service and just download the CDs and songs as they come to me. Works for me. I didn't report the crime because (a) I'm lazy and it takes time and (b) it wasn't that big a deal.
And then I came home today. It was a perfect Friday afternoon - happy hour and then come home and meet Cody. He finally got his motorcycle back from the shop and we were debating what to do with our evening. He went to get something out of his car (in the garage) and came back in, ever so calmly, and told me our garage had been broken into. I, of course, ran outside and sure enough, the door had been kicked it, the deadbolt knocked out and our garage broken into. We're thinking it happened sometime during the day, while we were at work and stupid kids were off school bored. Anyway, they took both Cody and Dude's bikes. Cody's was his bike from when he was 10 years old and it barely worked, so the theives got about $10 worth there, but Dude's was a nice bike worth several several hundred dollars. Then they took Cody's welder, given to him by his dad. Also, not worth a ton of money because it was old, but to replace it is big money. They also took the battery charger (we need it for the motorcycle) and a bunch of my garden tools (lopers, hedge trimmers). We're not sure what else yet - I'm sure we'll think of things as time goes on and realize they were in the garage and realize they were taken. Stupid theives left my bike (only worth $20 - I got it out of the classifieds in the paper), two computer monitors, a PC, two sets of really nice (and expensive) golf clubs, a microwave, a dorm fridge and some other random, more expensive stuff. So in terms of value they didn't get much but they did more damage to the door then anything else. So tonight we seriously boarded the door to the garage shut - literally screwed a 2x4 into the door and the wall so there is no way to get the door open (no deadbolt left) - so now we have to enter and exit through the automatic garage door. Doh! So tomorrow, our plans of fun and relaxing are gone, and instead we will be at Home Depot, buying a new door, new wood for the door jams (they busted up those when they busted out the deadbolt), new locks for the garage (and while we're at it the entire house - front, back and basement doors), and a bunch of chain to chain the remaining items together. We will then work on getting anything of value out of the garage and in the basement and then making a system to reinforce the basement door - a 2x4 blocking the door that you can only move from the inside. And then we move on to the backyard fence - finishing the wood part (8 ft tall) where there is just chain link now and where there is chain link at the very end near the alley (where the gate is - that will now have a padlock) put a 8 feet iron fence with spiky tops - the cops that came said that makes it so my thug friends can't jump it - else they impale their nether regions.
So, yeah I'm mad and scared and upset and violated that they took our stuff. But more mad then anything that they broke into MY space. My car is one thing - that makes me mad but it's just my car. My house and garage are a totally different story. That's personal. That's MY space. Where I'm supposed to feel safe and comfortable.
So, to the isolated part. Being here, so far from family in times like this makes me feel isolated. I don't feel lonely or alone because I have Cody here. But if this were to happen while we lived in Florida we could have gone to a parent's house and camped out for the night. They could have come over and comforted us while we called the cops, went through what was missing, and went through their reports. They could have calmed me down. When my brother's house was broken into years ago my mom and I went over there to help out. When things ever happened in Tally we'd all be there for each other - but now it's just us here by ourselves. We have to comfort ourselves, deal with the cops by ourselves and deal with this feeling of violation by ourselves - no family to come over and make us feel better or no family to run to. So it's not a lonely feeling - but more of an isolation.
So of course tonight reinvigorated the talk of moving. Oddly enough after my diatribe on feeling isolated from family in Florida, we're not talking about moving to Florida, or closer to Florida - but to California. Not forever - not a permanent move - just like St. Louis wasn't - but just for a go at it. Something new - something safer - something exciting to try - and if we hate it, we have no ties and we have no problem moving again. Sure, moving sucks - it's a pain, but we're young and we can, so why not? We'll have to see how things all play out - my job, Cody's job, Cody's MBA application - all sorts of things - we'll just have to see how the cookie crumbles.