Not this AGAIN!

Nope, not my car breaking down (though I expect that any day too). Another Bar Application and Bar Exam! I've decided that since I'm going to be in Corn Country (aka "Missoura" as the "out-state" (non-St. Louis or Kansas City) people call it) another three years (thanks to Washington University's MBA program that is now eating up ALL of my husband's minuscule free time) I should go ahead and take the Illinois Bar. Since we're a "border city" it's really helpful to have both bar licenses and since my current firm does work in both markets it could really help me.

For those non-lawyers, applying for admission to a bar is just about as bad as the Bar Exam itself - either way I would rather poke my eyes out with a spoon. Everyone knows about the Bar Exam - hours and hours of testing, writing essays and bubbling in answers - usually it's a two day exam and they test you on anything from about 16 topics that you have no idea which they'll pick. That's nothing compared to the "Character and Fitness" Application!

The Bar Exams aren't actually that bad. I studied for Florida's and then since I was burned out on studying, I just answered Florida law on Missouri's and that was good enough. So the Exam itself is a worry far away.

The Bar Application is the current pain. The Florida Bar Application seriously took me years to finally finish. They wanted (and then Missouri wanted the same stuff all over again):
1) every job you ever had (complete with address, dates of employment, phone numbers, supervisors, how to get in touch with the supervisors, and a witness to attest that you worked there),
2) every address you ever lived at,
3) every credit card/bank account and debt you ever had (EVER!) and all those account numbers, balances, addresses, current balances, highest balance and current status,
4) if you ever bounced a check (which I had when I applied for the Florida Bar since that was before everyone used debit cards and electronic banking) they wanted 3 years of bank statements - every month for three years (they were $10 a month at my bank for past statements),
5) basically every tiny detail about everything you have EVER done (it would make anyone feel like a scum bag criminal), but worst for me was:
6) every ticket/infraction you ever got.

So as most of you know, when I applied for the Florida Bar it was quite an adventure - I've had my share (as well as a small country's share) of speeding/traffic tickets in my time. So I had to go through this thing with the Bar about my "blatant disregard for the law" and had to tell them that I would never speed again, blah, blah, blah (when I applied for Missouri it wasn't so bad - they just said "don't be a moron" and that was it). I was thrilled to get past that hurdle.

And then no-kidding right after they cleared me and all was okay and I just told them I would stay out of trouble forever, I was arrested for Possession of an Open Container of Alcohol and Assulting an Officer. Funny stuff, huh? Anyway, since I'm not a career criminal, they let me do deferred prosecution, pay my fine, do my community service, wait out my probation and then it all magically went away and was hopefully shredded somewhere. So when I apply for jobs and stuff I don't have to list it - but not the Bar! They must know EVERYTHING! There is no excuse in the world not to tell the bar something - no expungement, no charges dropped, no case sealed, nothing- you have to tell them everything.

So now, years later this retarded cop is still haunting me. I have to go dig up copies of everything (even though the state doesn't even have them anymore because it was all dropped) and give them the gory details. Basically I didn't know it was illegal to walk on the street in G'ville with an open beer (who would have known?). So I left a bar with friends, with an open beer (I was over 21) and someone grabbed my beer from behind me - I thought it was my friend so I back-handed the person who grabbed my beer - except it wasn't my friend it was the cop. Apparently cop was in a bad mood and felt like making an example out of Law School Girl so he got me on assulting him and the open container. I wish I could say I beat the crap out of him or something - if I'd have known how much trouble this would cause for the rest of my life I think I would have landed some good ones on him (just kidding - I don't beat cops- my brother-in-law is a cop and he is very wonderful and nice and gives cops a good name -it's the one's that give me tickets I don't like). :) Anyway, so now I've been working on my Character and Fitness Application for 6 hours now and I'm not even half-way through - EVERY job I've ever had - including volunteer stuff - EVERY address - EVERY credit card/bank account/etc - EVERY ticket (this one will take a considerable amount of time). All of this so they can allow me to practice in Illinois! Just thought I'd share some of my frustration.

The moral of today's story - don't be a lawyer if you've ever had more then one job, more then one address, more then one credit card, ever made a late payment on anything, or ever had a cop talk to you. :)