I am NOT a serial killer!

As I think I've mentioned before I took the Illinois Bar Exam back in February and found out I passed a few weeks ago. Most people would think that is enough to be admitted into the bar. Well, it's not. In every state, not only do you have to pass their ridiculous exam but you have to jump through 725 hoops for your "character and fitness" application. They want EVERYTHING about you. And you can leave NOTHING out. You have to give every job you ever had, every address you ever lived at, school references, work references, court references, every credit card/bank account/money account you have ever had, any checks that ever bounced, any credit cards that you ever paid one day late (and why), all traffic and parking tickets, etc. You get the point - it's insane. On top of that you have to sign every waiver known to man so they can get everything on you from all the agencies and give a fingerprint card. It's a pain but usually not that big a deal after you've gathered all the information. And since I gathered most of it for Florida (and thankfully saved it all) the other two weren't that bad. Until last week.

For months Illinois has been sending me things like "we need a better adddress for the grocery store (Bruno's) that you worked out in 1996 that is now nonexistent but we still need to talk to the manager" and crap like that. I ever so impatiently send it back (repeatedly) saying Bruno's is closed and I have no clue who my manager was - oh, and yea, it was TWELVE years ago. So last week I get a letter from the Bar people saying my application was turned over to a Committee Member. It sounded ominous and scary but friends said it was standard. So I call said Committee Member and he calls back on Thursday wanting a meeting/hearing on Friday. Mind you, I have painstakingly moved everything off my schedule for Friday because Cody's parents were in town last weekend and I wanted every blasted second I could get with them because we never see them. But, no, Friday it was.

So Friday I march my happy butt (sarcasm is dripping onto my keyboard) to fabulous Columbia, IL (don't know where that is? you don't need to. Ever.) to have my hearing/meeting. I thought it was going to be laid back and have a talk. It was brutal. By the time I left I felt like I was the leader of a Columbia drug cartel that laced some cocaine with poison, fed it to a village of small children, killing them and then I dismembered their tiny bodies. That's how they acted. They really acted like I was some sort of career criminal. Now let me back up. What were they so angry and testy about? Some other stuff too, but mostly traffic tickets. Yes, that's right - traffic tickets! Who here does not have ANY traffic tickets ever? (okay, actually, don't answer that because I happen to know some crazy people who have managed to evade those blue and red lights) Anyway, I'm not saying I've been always perfect or that I was a model citizen at the age of 19. But then who was? (Again don't answer that because I do know some model citizens at age 19.) So I happened to have a speeding "problem" and I happened to get a lot of speeding tickets. And by "a lot" I mean A LOT - as in problably more then the rest of my friends and family - combined. But I wasn't denying any of them - I admit that I was young, reckless and had no respect for the law and sped everywhere I went because I was young and always late. But they wanted to go through every single one of those tickets in my hearing/meeting. So I went throgh them (this took a while), attempting the best I could to remember which each particular incident entailed. I expressed a good bit of remorse and humility, described my reformed ways and essentially begged for forgiveness.

When I left I felt like some kind of hardened criminal and it was unclear whether I would be "certified" or if I had to go to the next step in my quest to prove my character fit for an Illinois attorney. Thankfully I have been notified that I am now "certified" and that Illinois has found me fit to join the ranks of their esteemed lawyers (and as Melanie put it, when she finds one of those esteemed lawyers, she'll let me know). So I, allegedly, will get sworn into the next, and hopefully last, bar on May 8th. And then be done with all this!