Opps. . . almost forgot.

I found out today that I passed the Illinois Bar Exam. I'm honestly not sure what to think about that. Basically I either feel like I bull shit way better then I thought or that the lawyers of Illinois are a lot stupider then I thought. I am shocked they let me pass that exam. I seriously seriously blew that test. And while I'm happy I didn't fail, I'm not particuarly happy I passed. Does that make sense? I'm glad I didn't fail because as much as I say it wouldn't have bothered me, it would have stung somewhere that I failed at something that I wanted to achieve. So I'm glad I don't have to explain to the world why I failed. But on the other hand, I'm also not really happy like I should be that I passed because I don't feel the sort of accomplishment that comes with studying for something, doing your best and achieving an objective. Normally doing something like this feels really good but I don't feel accomplished at all because I know I did so bad and I don't feel I really deserved it. I feel like I totally bombed on the test and only because everyone else must have done so bad that somehow I passed. So, while I passed and thus didn't waste all that money I don't really feel accomplished either. It's like if you interview for a job, know you did horribly and have no business getting the job, but get the job anyway because you were the only person they interviewed that passed the drug test - yeah, you may have gotten the job, but not because you deserved it, only because everyone else was so stupid.
Anyway, hopefully that will be one of the last I ever have to take. The whole process is really getting old and is not enjoyable in the least. But at least I can add another state on my resume. Not that I will be working on my resume any time soon. . . . . hint, hint, hint. :)